Nobodies in the club
by Q. Fuller
Summary: ATTENTION TO THOSE WHO READ THIS FIC! yeah right NITC will be on hiatus until after "Wrath of the Nobodies" is updated. I can only do 2 fics at a time and I will not be uploading any new fics until then. Thank you, Q. Fuller
1. How it stared

Luxord, Xigbar, Axel, and Vexen are all in the club. "I appreciate you inviting me to come with you. As a scientist, social interaction is not my forte, but I would very much like to study nobody social interaction." Vexen looked at Luxord. "Riiighttt" He waved it off, his eyes shifted to Axel. Everyone was in regular clothes except Vexen, who was still in Organization robes.

Luxord, who grew tired of waiting around in the castle decided it, was time for everyone to go out. Not all agreed. Xemnas said no, Xaldin said no, Lexeaus was working out; Zexion slammed the door in Luxord and Xigbar's face. Saix was busy admiring Kingdom Hearts, Demyx wasn't old enough, Marluxia was taking care of his garden and Larxene was drunk, watching him. That only left Roxas, and like Demyx, he wasn't old enough.

At first Vexen wasn't invited, because really, who likes Vexen? He was later invited after Luxord found him sulking in the kitchen. His lab exploded and he was in no mood to clean it at the moment. He asked the group what were they doing in an attempt to recruit help, but decided that sounded better.

Axel wore a simple white T-shirt with blue jeans. He thought is made a statement that he wasn't a flashy person. His shoes were just a pair of white Converses. Xigbar wore black "Dickies" brand khakis. His button up shirt was of the same color and brand, as was his shoes. They told him he looked like a mafia hit man. He told them that he'd kill them if they said that again.

Luxord wore an all white suit. Complete with tie, gloves, vest, and shoes. They laughed at him, but he simply told them to "bugger off."

All four of the nobodies sat at the bar and ordered three bottles of Vodka. "What is the point of ordering this drink? All it does is kills brain cells." Vexen snatched Xigbar's bottle. "Hey, I was going to drink that." Number II snapped. He snatched the bottle back.

"The point of this drink is to get so smashed that we forget that we're a part of the Organization." Axel opened his bottle and took it to the head. "Tell you the truth, he's right." Luxord opened his bottle and asked the barkeeper for a shot glass. "You all know that what we have to do right?" He stared at Axel and Luxord. "No" They looked at him dumbfounded. "What do we have to do?" Axel asked. "Simple" He smiled. "Get Vexen laid." Vexen was not paying attention, and had snatched Xigbar's bottle again.


	2. Jackpot

The music had finally started, and people were dancing on the floor. The play list, so far, suspiciously played songs that were from DDR, as Axel pointed out. The group had been sitting down and drinking. Everyone except Vexen had a light buzz. He was still trying to figure out the logic behind the mind numbing substance.

The song "So Deep" began playing in the club. Red, pink, green, and purple lights flashed with the song causing the techno feel to come over the club. "I don't know about you, but I'm going to dance." Axel got up and walked to the center of the floor. "Hiya' cutie" A girl tapped Axel on the shoulder. "Do you want to dance with me?" The girl had a black t-shirt on that said "I'm out of your league." Her jeans were white as snow. "Jackpot. I'm getting some tonight." Axel's mind went blank after that thought. "Sure, let's do it."

"Look at him. He seems to have made a friend quickly." Xigbar turned around in his bar stool to face the dance floor. "I think he's making a fool of himself." Vexen opened the bottle of "Smirnoff" brand Vodka and sniffed. "What a peculiar drink, it looks like water." He put his finger at the tip and tasted the drop on his finger tip.

A crowd was gathering around Luxord. "Do you think you can really out drink me boy?" Luxord chuckled at the staggering man in front of me. "Yuck Fou, you're cheeteeng. Eye'm teh greetest at dreenking evar." He spewed a flurry of slurred and vulgar words. "I, just simply, am better than you. In fact, you pick anyone in this club, and I'd be able to out drink them." His inebriated adversary fell over. Luxord smiled and folded his arms across his chest. He leaned back in the chair and chuckled.

The lights dropped down to two colors red and purple. Axel was busting out some hot ass techno moves. "Anastasia" The song went to its downbeat. "Oh snap" Someone behind Axel commented. The redhead began doing the robot. "My name is Zair" (Zah-ear) the girl Axel was dancing called over the music. "What's yours?" She started popping and locking. "The name's Axel. Memorize it for later." He smirked and continued with his robot. "Break it down old school dude." Another person in the back cheered Axel.

"You sure can drink; what's your name?" A woman in her mid 20's sat at the table with Luxord. He covered his goatee with his hands. "Was he really going to tell her that his name is Luxord? How would that look if she found out all of his friends names had "x" in them. She'd think he was gay. That's what he thought. "My name is…" he paused "Just call me "L." Luxord smiled. "So miss…uh, I didn't catch your name. What is it?" He raised his left eyebrow and leaned forward. The woman pulled back her long, black hair and leaned forward as well. She only wore a tank top with a black skirt and black shoes. "You didn't catch it, because I didn't throw it. If you want my name, you'll have to out drink me and my friends." She pointed to the three sexy girls behind her.

"Hi."

"Hello."

"How are you?'

"Jackpot" L (Luxord) shouted in his mind. "Very well ladies, I accept your challenge. Although I wonder, what happens if I win?" He looked at all four women. The woman thought for a minute. "If you win, you get us." They all stood together smiling. "Jackpot" L shouted. "Well, let us begin. Barkeep, we'll need 12 bottles of Vodka" he looked back at the women. "So what are you ladies having?" They all looked at each other.

"C'mon Vexen, you have to try it. We invited you out to have fun. Not drinking will just spoil the moment." Xigbar handed the new bottle of Vodka to Vexen. "No thank you. I prefer to remain in my current, state of mind; sober. Anyway, don't we need a designated driver?" Vexen pushed the bottle away. "It tastes horrible anyway. I don't want to drink in my non-existing life." Xigbar put the liquor down. "See Vexen, that's your problem. You're still talking like a nobody. Take a look around" Xigbar grabbed Vexen by the shoulders and moved his hand to show everyone to Number IV. "While we're here, we're just people. Nobody noticed we're nobodies. Even if they did, they don't care. The four of us are just regular people in the club tonight. Just relax and have fun." Vexen released himself from Xigbar's grip. "Forgive me if I don't share your enthusiasm." He walked off to a booth in the far part of the club.

"Hey, if anyone asks, your name is Even." Xigbar called to him as he walked away.


	3. Breakdancing Vexen

The music began to get tiring after a while. Axel and Zair sat down to talk two booths away from Vexen. "Interesting, it seems Axel, the youngest was able to find a partner for dancing. It is 12:30 by the wall on the clock, but all they're doing is talking."

He spoke into a tape recorder watching the young couple.

"Is he still watching us?" Axel was trying to remain out of Vexen's field of vision without giving Number IV the impression he doing so. "Yes, who is he anyway? He dresses kind of weird." Zair tilted her head slightly. "That's just my uncle. Don't mind him. He thinks he's the "responsible" one. In fact the only reason I'm even out tonight is because nobody else in the house was either old enough, or already sober." His thoughts went to Larxene, Roxas, and Demyx.

Demyx and Roxas sneeze. Larxene throws up her liquor on Marluxia's leg.

"Watch this." Zair pulled out a cell phone, and began to type something on the tiny keyboard. "l-o-l" she spoke at the same time as shy typed. The girl looked up at Axel. "Watch this." She smiled.

The music had stopped to change songs, so the club was dark and quiet. "Ladies, you may now get free drinks until 1:00 pm. The bar is open, so drink away." A voice called over the club. The people looked up as if it was God himself. "Whoo" came from every corner of the club.

Just then, a woman walked into the club. She came down the steps slowly. Her long golden hair fluttered with each step she took. The dress she wore accented her hair. It was a pearly white, light reflected off of it, and into Vexen's eyes. "It has only been a few moments, but Axel and his new dancing partner are-augh." The reflected light hit his eyes. "What is that-?" Vexen couldn't finish his question. He caught a look at the woman, and fell silent.

Sonic Energy was begun playing overhead. Vexen stood up and walked over to the floor. "By far the most magnificent specimen I have ever seen." He muttered to himself watching the lady. He didn't notice himself phasing through people, but it was dark, so no one saw him. Vexen moved in closer to the woman. It was then she took notice of him.

The woman in the white dress came face to face with Vexen. "You are, by far, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life." She smiled at him. "What's your name cutie?" Vexen's face turned beet red.

He suddenly remembered what Xigbar told him, but he didn't think he'd need the advice. Xigbar had always struck out when it came to women, so Vexen was reluctant. "Even." He managed to sound out. "Well Even, would you like to dance? It's what I came here for." Even grabbed the woman by the hand and took her to the dance floor, and started doing what he saw the other people do. Seeing Evan break dance was a sight to behold.

"Can I hold your phone for a minute?" Axel puts his hand out to Zair. "Sure, but why?" She looked confused at the redhead. "Because everyone in the castle will love this, that's why." He smiled turning on the flip phone. It captured Vexen on the dance floor. "Castle" Zair questioned, looking more confused. "Oh, that. I live in a huge mansion, but it's designed like a castle. I share a house with twelve other people. My uncles live there too. It's really spacious. In fact, my room itself is as big as an apartment. The lower floor you go, the bigger the rooms. I'm on floor eight." Axel caught break dancing Vexen on camera phone. "They're really going to love this. Especially Roxas; he'd die of laughter."

"Oh" Zair blinked a couple of times, and just focused on Vexen.


	4. A pimp named Luxord

A/N, this story is changed to rating M just for this chapter. It contains suggestive themes that are just naughty for most people. And if you read this, review. I don't need reviews to say I'm good, I like them and they're appreciated..

Xigbar got on the dance floor near Even. No one had seen much of him since he got there. The song Sonic Energy was entering its thirtieth minute. He picked up some purple glow sticks and a glow in the dark whistle at the counter. Xigbar put his right arm straight out to the side. It moved up, like a wave, and moved to the left arm. The left arm bent downwards, and Xigbar turned right. He took three steps forward before he began to be trapped in a mime's invisible box. People began backing away to give him room, and watch the dude dance.

"Oh L, I want to dance. Can we go dancing?" the young woman rubbed Luxord's chest. "Yeah, we want to dance too." The other four began rubbing on the gambling man. The lights went from fire red, to cool blue. Xigbar and Vexen broke it down on the dance floor. "And ruin my good suit? I think not." Luxord picked up his cup with the last of his vodka. "Please, we want to dance." All four of the very inebriated women begged L. He rolled his eyes. "Fine, my liquor is all gone anyway." He stood up and adjusted himself for dancing. "L is taking us dancing." The woman in the black skirt called to her friends. They all cheered.

"So you want to get a drink?" The woman asked Even. "Sure, why not? I could go for a tasty beverage." The lady in the white dress giggled. Her smile made Even feel a certain way. She wasn't an old woman; she looked to be in her mid thirties. The blond man and blonde woman made their way to the bar through the hordes of dancing young people. "So, I didn't quite get your name." Even asked as he sat down on the bar stool. "My name is Serena. I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself earlier. I feel like such an idiot." She held her hand out to shake, as did Even. "You're not an idiot. You were taken by my good looks as I was with yours." He smiled and then looked at the bartender.

"Are you ordering this time sir?" The younger female bartender looked at him crossly. "Yes" He snapped angrily at the girl, who was a child in comparison to him. "I'll have a bottle of that Vodka, and two glasses." Serena tapped his shoulder. "I can't drink that, I don't handle liquor so well." She looked down at the floor embarrassed.

Sonic Energy finally ended after an hour, and the song Absolutely Hard kicked up. The man L beat in the drinking contest was put into his corner, shortly after he passed out. With everyone on the dance floor, the party got really wild. L brought free drinks for everyone in the club. He also paid the D.J. to play only techno for the rest of the night. That's because the writer only listened to techno the entire time writing this fic. He was trying to create a fun, adult party environment.

The exceedingly drunk man's eyes fluttered open. The hard techno music filled his head with pain. "Dammit" he shouted covering his ears. The man stumbled past the huge speakers, and tripped on a bar stool. "Hey, watch where you're going you boozebag." A man pushed the drunken guy to the floor. "How are you able to stand? You should be out like a light." The bartender looks over the counter. "I'm not new at drinking. I just took a little more than I can handle." He climbs up a bar stool to the counter. "So are you okay to get home?" The bartender wiped the counter down. She eyed the drunken man who watched her breast drunkenly. "I'm good to talk. But here are my keys." He wobbled around as he hand her the keys. "Now, I have a proposition for you." The man staggered around trying to get a hold of the stool. "I need your help. I want to beat that one fellow in white. L I think his name was. I don't care in what, I just want to beat him." The man slurred his words. He struggled to stay upright.

"What's your name guy?" The bartender wiped out a mug that was formerly full of beer. A patron left the money on the counter and got up. "Me? Oh, just call me Mr. Jack. Now about my proposition." Jack put up his index finger and waited for her response. "Caitlyn." They shook hands and Jack stood up. "Rum for everyone. Party up everybody." He staggered to the dance floor.

"Actually, we're not exactly family, but it's close enough. Technically, that would make us boarders, rather than relatives. None of even like each other really." Axel popped a cashew in his mouth and enjoyed it's saltiness. "Yeah, that sounds a lot like family." Zair pulled the bowl of nuts closer to her. "Don't you ever get lonely there by yourself? I mean when you're not hanging out with your friend Roxas?" Axel put a thinking look on his face. "No, not really." He brushed it off and grabbed more nuts. "I mean, on a relationship level." Zair moved closer to Axel. His left eyebrow lifted. "No, that's what Larxene is for." He thought. His eyes moved down to the booth table. Inside he smiled a devious little Kira smile. "Yeah," he falsely emoted "sometimes Roxas isn't what I need. I just miss being with someone." His performance was amazing, Zair actually believed him. Zair smiled, it was a sad story, but yet she couldn't help but smile. "Come with me." She got up and grabbed Axel by the hand. "Where are we going?" He got up and walked to the back room with her.

"And now everyone take a 5 minute break. Talk, party, or bathroom; do what you beautiful people do until the music starts." The speaker went off again. Everyone except Xigbar, Vexen, and Luxord looked up. Axel was already looking up. "That was rather odd." Vexen looked at everyone that looked up. "What was?" Serena paid attention to Even. "At the exact same moment, everyone looked up." She stared at him wierd. "So..." It didn't bother her, so he didn't say much on it. "Was this the result, or am I just imagining things?" He said to himself.

Xigbar, who wasn't getting attention from any females, thought it would be better if he sponged off of "L" (Luxord). "Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. The man on the floor named L is a fake. He cheats at drinking, and doesn't have respect for women. Currently he has taken four young barely legal females, gotten them drunk, and intends to have his way with them." Feedback squealed after the speaker stopped. Much to Vexen's annoyance, everyone watched the ceiling; even Serenity. "Who is that? Xaldin, are you messing with me?" L got in the middle of the empty dance floor. "No, I'm not him. I just want to see you embarassed like you embarassed me. Don't you remember?" Mr. Jack shouted over the intercom system. "Aren't you that drunk boy I beat? Face it, you lost." L stared directly into bright overhead light. For a quick second, he thought he could see a Sniper nobody in the dj booth, but chalked it up to the light in his eyes.

"Hey" L intended to call Xigbar, but they never decided on a temporary name for him. "Xiggy, come're for a second." His smoothe, Balthier-esque, brittish voice summoned not only his target, but the four women as well. "Forget this loser L, come back to dance with us." The four women pulled at him. "Please, we want to dance more before good something happens tonight." Luxord turn around to go with the women. "Yes L, why not dance?" The loser of the drinking contest appeared behind L. "In fact, I challenge you to a dance off. You may choose any one female in the club here, and my partner and I will wipe the floor with you." He pointed at Luxord.

L looked back at the four women just eager to dance with him. "You", he chose the one who approached him in the first place "We're dancing." He reached out to her, and she fluttered over to the blond. "aww, the other three girls moaned. Okay, by my name is Eren by the way." She put her arm around him and waited for the others. "Choose your partner lad, but know this, if you lose again, she becomes a part of my entourage. But in the unlikely event that you win, you may have a free shot at me. Sound like a deal?" True to his nature, Luxord gambled away like there was nothing, or everything on the line.

"My partner will be my new friend Caitlyn." The man moved to the side and behind him was the bartender. Xigbar sauntered over to the four. "I'll judge this match. Crowd decides whose dancing is better. I judge the loudness of the crowd. Sounds fair?" He looked at the contestants. Caitlyn and Mr. Jack got in position. "You too." L smacked the girls' butt. "Go get in place." He pulled Xigbar to the side. "I think I'm going crazy." Xigbar kind of hunched down to talk to Luxord. "Why do you say that?" Luxord whipered in his ear. "I thought I saw a sniper nobody behind that guy. Did you summon any?" Xigbar shook his head and answered "No." Number X began to worry. "I have a theory then. Get Vexen."

The music started up. "Dora, Dora, Dora the Explora!" The dj spun the record, and the beat pulsed hard. The floor rattled with each boom of the blasting stereo. Jack moved side to side. First his head, then down to his neck. "Oh man." Swiper cried over the maracas (spelling?) "You can lead the way!" Jack moved the beat through his body, and mashed potatoed with his legs. He brought it then to the cripwalk. "Grab your backpack! Let's go." The music blared. Caitlyn moved in front of Jack and did the bootycall. They started grinding on each other. "You're going to fall kid." Xigbar shouted to throw Jack off rather than try to warn him about the clear liquid he was going to slip on. L watched at the sad display of so called dancing. Jack narrowed his eyes at the scarred man taunting him. Just then he slipped over a puddle and landed on Caitlyn. The music stopped. Everyone gathered to help him up. "I already win by default, but since you insist on bothering me, I guess I'll destroy you in front of your partner; who is actually a part of my group now." L smiled at Caitlyn who rolled her eyes at the blond man.

Eren didn't bother to get into a dancing position. She jumped on our hero, and twisted her legs around him. "Down girl, that comes later." He patted the top of her head, and she reluctanly came back to the floor. "No fair! Eren is getting to him first." One of the other girls pointed at Eren. "She's cheating." They all ran out to L and pushed Eren away. "L is mine." Luxord stepped back to enjoy what he just started inadverdantly.

After 5 minutes of arguing and fist fighting, L steps in. "Alright now. That's enough" He steps in between the rumbling roses. (heh-heh) "I think that it's over. I say all of us head oer to the upstairs room and hang out for a little bit." The four women stopped fighting and watched the man gleefully. "Yaaay!" All four of them shouted drunkenly. The crowd came back to the floor as L and the group left. The music started playing again. Caitlyn was in the corner punching Jack in the face for falling on her before the fight. Xigbar took notice of the faux couple. "CALM DOWN." He gave commands like he took God from heaven and put Him in his voice. In fact he looked a bit like Ryuji Yamazaki.

Caitlyn and Jack stopped. "Hm?" Vexen took notice from across the room. "What's wrong?" Serena pulled Vexen's face closer to hers. "Nothing really important. I just remembered something. Where is Axel and that other girl?" He looked around the club. "They went upstairs a while ago. I don't think it'd be wise to interrupt them." The blonde tried to bring Even's attention to her.

"Dude, go home before my buddy really hurts you. He's being nice, but he could have killed you the moment you decided to act all kiddie. Now whatever vandetta against him you have needs to be dropped or otherwise things will have to get violent." Xiggy (Xigbar) sneered down at Jack. He began to creep away. "Coward." Caitlyn scoffed at the man. "Yeah, I thought so." Xiggy turned around to walk away. Vexen was mortified. He grabbed Serena by the arm and began to walk to the back room. "Wait, I'm not THAT drunk." She struggled to loosen his grip.

"The night's been wasted." Xigbar sat at the bar with Caitlyn beside him. She had someone covering for her. "Yeah, it sucks." She replied. "I mean, I didn't get wasted and or laid. This night sucked royally." He folded his arms across his chest and gave an evil face. Caitlyn did too. "Wanna make out?" Xigbar turned to the woman. "Thought you'd never ask." She jumped on the one eyed man. "JACKPOT!" Even, or Vexen (whichever you want to call him) rushed into the back. He pushed past the throngs of horny young people. Faster!" was heard through all the moaning within the orgy. He and Serena reached the back room. Even pushed beck the curtain.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

A/N  
This chapter might sound like I'm being chauvanistic to women. I probably am, because as of this moment I don't care. I got out of a bad relationship, and right at this moment, all I see women as are T & A. On top of that, it was my 20th birthday on 9/12/07 and I didn't get wasted and or laid. So I'm VERY frustrated, and repressed. It's usually a statistic impossibility for me not to at a techno rave. So if I offend anyone, piss off. Come at me when I'm less grumpy.


	5. Eviepoo?

"If someone isn't dying or dead, I suggest you leave the room right now." Axel gave Vexen a death glare. Zair's head moved away from the pyro's lap.

"Oh my" Serena covered her eyes. "What's going on?" She blushed. "Aunt Se, get out!" Zair covered her face.

"What the **fuck** do you want?" Axel stood up and zipped up his pants. "This had better be good."

"We have to leave ASAP. Go get Luxord; I'll get Xigbar. Don't ask, just go." Even put emphasis on their leaving.

"Where is he?" Axel inquired. Vexen thought for a second. "I think I saw him in the VIP section with those girls last."

"Whatever." He pushed past Vexen purposely bumping shoulders with him.

They walked back into the main part of the club with all the dancers. Flashing lights kept the techno atmosphere in place since last year, when I updated.

Axel pulled Zair out of the back room. An anger and despair appeared on his forehead. He was definitely going to get Vexen back for intruding on his "face to lap" dance.

"Axel, I think you should calm down. It's not like you weren't going to get any. We can go back to your place and finish." Zair tried to calm down the pyro.

Axel liked the thought of that, but then he remembered about what he was, and where he lived. He truly didn't care what happened to her, but she wouldn't even make it in to the castle before a heartless, a nobody, or Larxene killed her.

"I don't think so. Larxene would kill you before you even hit the door."

Zair was confused. Larxene, was she some type of rebound girl? Was Larxene his girlfriend?

"And just who is Larxene?"

"She's our pet bitch. She will take pleasure in removing your blood from your body. If I take you there, you'll die. Better idea, we'll go to your house." Axel stopped. He smacked himself in the face wondering how he didn't think of that before. "Come on, we're going to your house. To hell with Vexen" The duo walked out of the club leaving no trace that they had ever been there except to those who knew that they were there already.

In the upstairs room…

"Oh L, you're so amazing." Eren rubbed Luxord's bare chest. The other two girls' were somewhere down past his waist, I will not speak of. Eren climbed on top of Luxord when Vexen busted in on him too.

"GET THE **FUCK** OUT!" L shouted at him. Vexen was too used to not needing to knock. "Don't you have any manners?"

Serena was beginning to wonder the same.

"I sent Axel up here for you. Did he come up?"

"No, now leave. Really, are you **that** stupid as to not know your manners?"

"Maybe we should leave Even. This is the second time this has happened. "We should just go back downstairs." She grabbed Vexen's shoulder

"We have to go. Something came up. We really have to go" emphasizing the urgency to leave.

"Then leave on your own, I'm busy. Get Xiggy to escort you home if you're too scared." Eren tried to stifle her moan as L moved her down on his lap.

"Have you no shame?" Vexen looked disgusted. He turned and left out of the room.

Xiggy, or Xigbar, was already in the process of nailing Caitlyn, so I won't post it. Instead, I'll tell you that the conversation involved:

Death threats  
Vulgarities  
Obscene gestures  
Sex  
Vexen barfing

And I don't know how, but the terms "cockmeat sandwich" and "anus" came up in the same sentence. Yes, Caitlyn had quite a mouth on her.

So Vexen came back from the bathroom. He was literally sick to his stomach. Anyway, Serena was watching him. What he didn't know is that she'd been drinking while he was in the bathroom. It had been a very stressing night for everyone, and it wasn't over.

"So now, what were we talking about?" He tried to make conversation with the woman he was going to abandon.

She sipped her girly drink. "My drink" she replied. "I forgot what it was called, but it was called a pomegranate something. Did you have fun in the toilet room?" All the sophistication melted away.

"Toilet room? Are you okay?" He wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Serena's facial expression went from "unregistered" to "XD" in no time flat.

"Why, I'm okay Evei-poo."

"Evie-poo?" Vexen froze…

Yeah, short. I know. But I don't have any more techno music.DX


End file.
